[ That catches her by surprise. She's about to say no, of course not because her instinctive reaction now is to reassure him and soothe the hurt. But somehow, she doesn't feel as if that's the right response here.
She's quiet for a moment and when she speaks up, her voice is soft. ]
[ And at that, Choromatsu's voice raises and he snaps, but not because he's angry at her ]
Because I'm always yelling at him! I'm always calling him a useless piece of shit and a stupid, worthless brother! I'm always treating him like a waste of space!
He died thinking that's all he was! And I--
[ --know that it's the network's fault. He knows it's the fault of this entire sick game. He knows because that's how it was with him. How the title that stared him down bore into him for weeks and as more and more shit fell apart around him he believed it more and more... it's the same. And yet, ]
I thought that's all he was too!
[ the guilt still hangs over him. His hands are balled tightly around pillow and bedding. He can't help it. ]
[ Yuuri flinches and all over again, her heart breaks for him. It's one thing for her to have seen Kurumi in there and watched them find Miki. The two on TV now are Choromatsu's brothers and more than that, they're sextuplets. She doesn't even want to try and imagine it.
She doesn't know what to say or do and she hates it. But she can't fix this. None of them can fix this and even when IG7 is burning and they've saved everyone... this isn't something they can fix. It's what Nari hadn't seemed to understand. Bringing them back and healing the physical scars doesn't change the fact that this happened to begin with.
She has to draw in a steadying breath before she speaks up again. ]
Do you... do you remember back when we were on the Fantasy Sweet? One of the very first weeks we were there. We talked a little about your brothers. And you said you were worried they wouldn't even notice you were missing. Do you remember that?
[ She wants to get her hands on Rox Petuu and wring her neck. The sheer vemon of her own anger surprises her but she knows she won't act on it. Not because she won't act on it but because if anyone deserves to throttle that fucking woman, it's Choromatsu. ]
But even though you thought that, when I asked you if you loved them and they loved you... you said "yes". And I'm sure if anyone asked Osomatsu-san the same thing, he'd say just what you did. You can fight and call each other all kinds of things and god, sometimes you hate each other, but you never ever stop knowing how much you love them. He knew that, I know he did.
It doesn't change or fix the rest of it, nothing could. Nothing I can do or say would but... I...
[ Stop this, she wants to say to herself because she can't and shouldn't give him a promise she can't keep. But she'd told him, hadn't she? If you feel like you're falling behind, one of us will pull you. And if you feel like you can't go on then one of us will push you.
It's time for her to start pushing him. ]
When this is all over... even if I have to walk into wherever the network's keeping them and get it all done myself, I'm going to make sure you can see him again and you can tell him all this yourself.
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She's quiet for a moment and when she speaks up, her voice is soft. ]
Why would you think something like that?
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Because I'm always yelling at him! I'm always calling him a useless piece of shit and a stupid, worthless brother! I'm always treating him like a waste of space!
He died thinking that's all he was! And I--
[ --know that it's the network's fault. He knows it's the fault of this entire sick game. He knows because that's how it was with him. How the title that stared him down bore into him for weeks and as more and more shit fell apart around him he believed it more and more... it's the same. And yet, ]
I thought that's all he was too!
[ the guilt still hangs over him. His hands are balled tightly around pillow and bedding. He can't help it. ]
no subject
She doesn't know what to say or do and she hates it. But she can't fix this. None of them can fix this and even when IG7 is burning and they've saved everyone... this isn't something they can fix. It's what Nari hadn't seemed to understand. Bringing them back and healing the physical scars doesn't change the fact that this happened to begin with.
She has to draw in a steadying breath before she speaks up again. ]
Do you... do you remember back when we were on the Fantasy Sweet? One of the very first weeks we were there. We talked a little about your brothers. And you said you were worried they wouldn't even notice you were missing. Do you remember that?
[ She's going somewhere with this. Promise. ]
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Y-Yeah... Because of the thing that happened to Karamatsu...
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But even though you thought that, when I asked you if you loved them and they loved you... you said "yes". And I'm sure if anyone asked Osomatsu-san the same thing, he'd say just what you did. You can fight and call each other all kinds of things and god, sometimes you hate each other, but you never ever stop knowing how much you love them. He knew that, I know he did.
It doesn't change or fix the rest of it, nothing could. Nothing I can do or say would but... I...
[ Stop this, she wants to say to herself because she can't and shouldn't give him a promise she can't keep. But she'd told him, hadn't she? If you feel like you're falling behind, one of us will pull you. And if you feel like you can't go on then one of us will push you.
It's time for her to start pushing him. ]
When this is all over... even if I have to walk into wherever the network's keeping them and get it all done myself, I'm going to make sure you can see him again and you can tell him all this yourself.